Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

I would like to say life in a foreign country is tough and it comes to an extent that you have been away from home for a really long time. You miss home your families and friends. When i first got here , i got no one but myself and i would like to say it was really really tough in the beginning . Got into some troubles with a girl from Kadazhan and she was over reacted and sensitive. I know i have to step up for myself and protect myself . She came here with a bunch of friends so she got them as backup . Did i mention earlier i got no one but myself. Well , it was awkward and we were staying in the same room and we haven't speak to each other for few months but lucky me i made friends here too . They were really good friends and they see the problem between me and her and they weren't bias. Well , we hang out everyday and i would like to thank them for their accompany for almost 6 months . It was really blessing to have them around during my difficult time. Life in Kursk was really boring and dull. People there some i would say were really nice and friendly while others were crazy. Imagine you are in a foreign country and You don't speak their native language well and it is difficult to survive in that situation. They hate foreigners i guess. Well it wasn't my right to judge because it is their right . They have every right to think in their way of course it wasn't pleasant or smart . 

Quickly i picked up myself and start to adapt to the new environment . It was really heartbroken for me to leave my country at that time. He who i once in love with did awful things and things i am not proud of . I once loved him deeply and i really thought it is going to work out. Certainly it was just my one sided feeling and longing. You know when you are truly in love being faithful is not a sacrifice . It's a  ...JOY. Clearly it wasn't what he was thinking when we were still together. So the story was i left for study and he cheated when i am not around . I have this skin problem probably is the hormone changed and the whether in a foreign country and when i came home he was disgusted with the look that time. Terrible skin and acne problem like my life that time hasn't worst enough . I was there during his hard time and i never thought of leaving him but when my times comes , he QUIT. I have so many reasons to give up on him but i choose to stay . And he has so many reasons to stay but he choose to give up . Well , it was sad. Beauty is not about having the fairest skin or prettiest face. It's about having the purest heart.He broke my heart. He did. It was painful and i am falling into pieces and my heart was scattered. I don't feel myself anymore and i couldn't breath each time i thought about it. My friends knew about it and they came all the way for me, without much talking or explanation they stayed. I was grateful and appreciate i have such good friends. So there goes the break up. He was with another girl and still he denies it. That made him a horrible person. 

I feel like ending this post right now maybe i am not in a mood to talk about it now. It still hurts when i looked back the damage i have done to myself and the pain i brought to the people who loves me so much ...


There's always some truth behind ' just kidding'
Knowledge behind ' I don't know'
Emotion behind' I don't care'
Pain behind ' It's okay'...